immersion sometimes feels like drowning.

No, this isn't a post about baptism.  (Although I have baptized more than one person whose major fear about being baptized was a fear of drowning.  But that's probably a different post.)

This is a post about a different kind of immersion.  I'm talking about this kind of immersion - from dictionary.com:

concentrating on one course of instruction, subject, or project to the exclusion of all others for several days or weeks; intensive.

Part of a missions course I took in seminary involved an immersion experience. We spent an entire semester reading and learning about the story and plight of the Lakota Sioux tribe in South Dakota.  Then, near the end of the class, we spent an entire week on the reservation - immersed in their culture, their world, their community.

It was intense, and at times uncomfortable.  But very illuminating.

During these past few months, and especially since our move to First Lutheran, I've had a chance to be immersed in several different ways on "this side of town" with "these people over here."  And without naming each of them like some sort of merit badge list, let me just say this:

At times it has felt more like drowning than immersion.

Sometimes the cultural gap has felt bottomless.  Sometimes the challenge of connecting one community to another has left me feeling powerless.  And sometimes the social, economic, systemic, and familial issues are so immense that it feels suffocating.

But as I continue to be immersed, I realize that I am not drowning at all. Rather, I'm learning to swim.

I'm finding that I sometimes am not really looking to serve, but rather looking to serve the interests of my church or my own need to be significant, useful, or comfortable.  

I'm finding that it's more important to figure out how to go to the people than it is to figure out how to get them to come.

I'm finding that I need to stop asking, "How can I be involved?" and instead ask "What do you really need?"  Then, just do that for them or with them.  Or, decide to stick around long enough to help them figure out what they really need.  Then, do that for them or with them.  I can't just dismiss someone because their needs don't fit my calendar, my preference, or my timeframe.

That's the gift of immersion.  You start to actually see what you need to see, feel what you need to feel, and learn what you need to learn, so that you can do what really needs to be done.

You just can't substitute immersion for another book, study, group, class, or anything else.  Immersion forces you to learn how to actually swim, rather than just listen to another message on why it's important to learn how to swim.

My wife and I took my son swimming for the very first time in his 19 month life this past weekend over at the Wellness and Recreation Center at UNI.  We strapped the infant lifejacket on him, waded into the shallow end, and watched him stand on the edge of the water, looking at it like it might kill him if it touched him.

And we coaxed.  And we asked.  But really, we just let him have some space to take it all in.

Finally we persuaded him to get close enough for us to grab him and slowly dip his toes in while we held him in our arms.  We were waist-deep; he was toes-deep.  Still pretty cautious.  But willing, for the most part.

Then came the first dip - neck-deep for us, waist-deep for him.  We shed a few tears there; but we made it.  We got used to it.

His lip started to quiver a little bit, and his teeth started to chatter.  That was a new feeling for him - getting used to the cold water all around him. 

But then, I flung him up in the air a few times, caught him, then grabbed his beach ball and let him bat it around a bit in the water.

And pretty much from that point on, we were good.  In fact, I'd say he enjoyed it. He even let us lay him on his back a few times, lifejacket propping him up.

At first he thought he was going to die, and that nothing good was going to come of this whole pool thing.  

But by the end, he was splashing around just like every other kid was.

Immersion feels like you're drowning when you first experience it.  But in the end, it changes you.

Which of course leads us to the question: As it relates to our mission in Waterloo and immersing yourself in our community, where are you?

Standing on the edge of the pool holding on to life as you've always known it?

Taking your first deep breath and fighting off the teeth-chattering cold of the water, realizing that some of your fears were indeed well founded?

Being tossed up in the air by your heavenly Father, encountering again his familiar presence, and enjoying a revitalizing experience?

Splashing around as you have become familiar with a new environment?

Making your part of the pool a little warmer, and hoping nobody swims near you until the chlorine has done its job?

(Sorry.  Couldn't resist that last one.)

Comments

[Derek Kimball]

Thank God for chlorine. Haha.

Immersion is scary. I've found that being immersed into something isn't always a choice. Sometimes, the 'pool' is sort of forced upon me. Being immersed in relationship with God first and foremost, in my experience, helps forced immersion feel.. not so forced. Rather, it feels like God leading me through the thick of a forest. I'm not alone. Its scary, but at least I've got someone there who knows what they're doing. I'm finding that I feel this way a lot in my job as a teacher.

Great post, Jesse

p.s. Sorry for my post within your post.

[Jesse Tink]

No worries about the "post within a post" man. Very insightful and relevant. Very true: being immersed in a relationship with God helps immersion in circumstances feel more like the next leg of a journey with him rather than being forced to go somewhere you don't want to go. Thanks for that truth.

[Tim Sherwood]

I can so relate to the drowning feeling. I can remember the day I self surrendered to Prison. The fear and anxiety that came along with the check in at the Gun Tower, the long walk over to the 16' high razor wire covered fences, hearing the cries of your wife from a 100yrds away knowing that we were losing daily life with each other, Walking up to the prison door and taking that last shallow breath and holding it as the water finally rushed over my head. The crazy thing about that moment was that as many do when the water rises to high. I didn't panic.

Like Derek said in the post above God was still with me and there was a comfort in that. I made a conscience decision then and there to look at my incarceration not as the curse the devil wanted it to be but as the blessing God intended it to be. With His help Mandy and I made it through witnessing some pretty incredible things along the way.

If we don't put ourselves into uncomfortable crazy situations from time to time there are no opportunities to grow more Christ like.

Far to often we can get caught up in the experience of church life and walking the comfortable path that we miss out on the big picture of ministering to the lost and hurt and the broken. Missing out on the very reason why Christ died for us.

As a believer we always talk about how cool life change is when new believers take next steps, dont get me wrong it AWESOME.
The danger in that is that your walk with Christ can quickly become a spectator sport instead of a Full Contact sport.

Christianity is dirty more times than not. We don't worship Sweedish Jesus with long flowing feathered hair and a blue sash.

We worship a Jesus that got mixed up in the lives of the broken and that isn't a clean easy well kept place to be.

Sorry I kind of began to rant :-) But you know me I can get going sometimes.

Jesse my prayer for your campus and Prairie Lakes as a whole is for us to be Relevant in our communities there are a lot of relevant churches out there that aren't getting the job done. My prayer is that PLC would be Revolutionary in this state. That your ministry would be Revolutionary to "Those people on that side of town"

Love ya brother

[Will Chadwick]

What I have told Karl, I will now share with you. "WELCOME TO MY WORLD -- WHERE WE AREN'T PERFECT, BUT WE ARE STRIVING FOR JESUS TO MAKE US THAT WAS AS WE SERVE BROKEN HUMANITY. IT IS GOING TO HURT, IT IS GOING TO MAKE YOU SECOND GUESS AND WANT TO RUN AWAY. THEY BEST THING YOU CAN DO IS PRESS IN. MOVE HERE. LIVE HERE. CHANGE LIVES HERE. BE AN INFLUENCE, RATHER THAN A TOURIST."

That being said, I am praying weekly for your church, your family, your leadership, and for guidance through the inevitable struggles as you wade through the murky, scary, sometimes deep waters.

Funny thing, the more you love (notice i didn't say "like") where God has you, the more He changes your perspective. I worked in a small farm town before coming to the Salvation Army here in Waterloo... now I feel more at home here in "the hood" than I do in 80% of Cedar Falls. Most of CF makes my skin crawl. LOLz.

[Will Chadwick]

*THAT WAY

[Jesse Tink]

Love it, Will. Thanks. Be an influence, rather than a tourist. That's tweetable. I'll give you credit, of course!

Thanks for your prayers as well. I look forward to God opening up some natural paths for our ministries to mutually support and encourage one another.

[Jesse Tink]

And thanks to you, Tim. Agreed, agreed, agreed. I think maturity looks like RUNNING to the circumstances that are uncomfortable, rather than just REACTING to them when they happen.

Appreciate you sharing part of your story here on the blog.