I feel kinda ruined.
Ruined. Like, beyond repair. Couldn't build it back up, even if I wanted to.
No, not ruined spiritually - like in my relationship with God.
No, not ruined personally - like in my relationship with my family.
No, not ruined professionally - like being burnt out.
Not ruined in any of those ways. But ruined nevertheless.
I feel ruined when it comes to doing church as usual. Completely, utterly ruined. Can't go back. Can't get excited about what I got excited about before. Can't just show up like I could show up before. Don't wanna build up what I was building up before.
I'm not ruined when it comes to church - by any stretch. But my former idea of church - the way I used to relate to the church, the way I used to evaluate the church, the way I used to engage wtih the church - has been completely ruined.
And I'm so grateful.
Because I feel like I continue to discover not only what the church should be, but also what the church has always been.
And I'm a little frightened by it, honestly. Because as I start to see the church and engage with the church differently, I wonder:
Will anyone else want to be a part of a church like this?
I'd love for you to come and hear what I mean. This weekend is a One Thing weekend at all of our campuses - a weekend where we as campus pastors get to pick the topic. So, we get a chance this weekend to dive a little deeper into this paradigm shift that we began through our Moved series, and crystallize what Jesus says to us in John 15:
9 “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10 If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends
Can you envision a church made up of people who experience God and his love primarily through actually obeying Jesus' command to love each other? I can.
See you this weekend.